"I'm not happy with your performance in the past 2 weeks"
This is just too juicy not to blog about immediately i get home after a 15hour shift.I haven't blogged about work for a while now, and that's mainly because I am only too aware of the fact that I tend to complain a lot about work. So i've been trying to forcus on the good things about work by thinking and writing less about the bad. Now, i had a great registrar last term. We got along so well that, at the end of the term, we exchanged gifts. (I got a sterling silver bracelet from her!!)
Now, let me just talk about the last 2 weeks with my new registrar on my much anticipated Gastroenterology term. Before i started this term, I was warned about him by everyone that knew him and there're many many of them (even those who have patience that i admire). So i was totally prepared for the worst.
At the end of week 1, i was telling pple that his notoriety was probably undeserved, for his attitude towards people was most likely secondary to stress, and now that he's landed advanced traineed position, he's returned to his pleasant and good self.
~ BUT I WAS WRONG. Now that he's an AT, he's behaving like a consultant (when the consultant's not there of course)
During week 2, i was regretting that i concluded too soon about him. At first, he was telling me to carry a folder during the ward-round (ie to each bed-side) and stated that the one that i leave at the nurses station was not good enough as a folder. Then, he told me not to do try to do any of my tasks during the ward-round cos that slows things down. After that, he suggested to the boss that i should dictate all my discharge summaries for the patients under all of our bosses, successfully i might add.
And at the end of week 2, he sat me down to tell me that he found my performance in the past 2 weeks non-satisfactory. We discussed what he thought i could improve on (and this he had in point form on a piece of paper). Most of them, i believe, are simply unreasonable. They're things that in an ideal hospital setting could work and would contribute to improving patient care, but only in a very trivial way and would require a lot of my time which should be spent doing more important things. eg speaking to a patient thru a booked formal interpreter regarding need for soft mattress to prevent pressure ulcers; documenting blood results in progress notes daily so that people know we've looked at them and thought about them; Making sure all the old notes are there and if not chase them down.
I asked him to give more specific examples for each of the areas that he mentioned and told him exactly why i did certain things my way. I told him that his expectations were much higher than i'd been used to and that's why they weren't met. I nearly told him that all my previous registrars and consultants were more than pleased with my performance and that my last consultant even said that i was in some ways performing at a junior registrar level. And at the end of our chat, i asked if he was ever pleased with any junior staff that he'd so far worked with and whether my performance was just embarrasingly poor. Then i gave an obvious "sign of relief" when he said no.
So i don't really need any sympathy regarding this issue, cos, without sounding arrogant, i found it almost comical. indeed, towards the end i was nearly laughing inside.
I would've said more if i was not actually considering gastroenterology as a possible future career and am aware of the strong possibility that he might even one day be my boss or be interviewing me for a job. Nonetheless, i will be filling in one of those optional feedback forms at the end of the term.
He told me that he was telling me this early so that i could have time to improve. I'm glad he told me this early so i know i'll have more interesting scenarios to look forward to.
the only regret i have for this session though was allowing it to take so long. When we started it was already afterhours and we parted 2 hours into my evening shift. So the wards were in chaos and the night resident wasn't very impressed with me. Of course, my registrar knew i was doing evening shift (cos i told him so plus our talk was interrupted several times with my pager going off) but simply disregarded that.
so yeah, i begged for a gastro term, and was very much looking forward to finding out whether it is what i should do and building a good relationship with people on the team. things don't often turn out how we like them. but i should remember they always turn out for our good.
Addit (Sunday):
i've decided to do all those silly things that he's asked me to do, and claim it all on overtime! i worked from 8 - 6 in the past 2 weeks, when the list was as short as 7 patients. starting this week, we're expecting 14 - 20 patients. now that i'll also be putting all relevant blood results in the progress notes, calling up discharged patients to make sure they'd been given a date for their outpatient appointments, dictating discharge summaries, personally chasing old notes from medical records, so that when the consultants round, he'd look good cos everything's there, i guess my paypacket will double or triple, and it would be really time to find an alternative investment (other than a savings account) ~ at least that's one good thing coming out of all this. alright, also more patience and tolerance, so that i'll know how to deal with more of his type in the future (although i hear there's really none like him, at least in this hospital.)
posted by zhinger @ 12:00 am
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