It's time for confession: I am a bad doctor!
Now, i'm a bad doctor for many reasons, but lack of knowledge and inexperience aside i think i'm a bad doctor because my doctor-patient relationships aren't what they should be. I am usually detached and unemotional when it comes to work. It takes me a while to warm up to people, and even a considerable level of warmth is reached, the other person wouldn't know cos of my "cold" exterior.
Having good quality doctor-patient relationships with my patients on the wards may sometimes be possible, if the patient's been under our care for a long time, esp if they have been there before i joined the team. But it's just not possible at the Emergency Department. At the ED we're pressured to sort out our patients quickly. I have no time or patience to chit-chat, to speak nicely and softly or, sometimes, even to smile. You answer my questions. You let me take your blood. And I'll fix you.
Sometimes, i have to restrain myself from shaking my patients.
"You've had this pain for 2 years, so why've you decided to come in today!?!?"
"What do you mean you can't say whether it is more of a sharp pain or a dull pain.Is it like someone putting a knife into you or more like someone sitting on your chest?!?!"
"You told me that you've never had any problems with your heart, so why have you had a CABG (open heart sugery)?!?!"
I know my patients deserve better and i know that i can do better, but... (see all excuses above).
I have to stop treating work as work. Being a doctor is more than just doing a job.
Was having a conversation with someone about what i should do in medicine and how things i want to do may clash with Christianity because of the issue of time. We talked about being a Christian at the work-place. She helped me to see that it is not just about evangelising to colleages and patients (if the right opportunities come along). Simply being nice and caring towards my patients, letting them feel loved at their times of distress, can mean a lot to them. They don't even have to know that this love came from God. It'd please God to see that i've shown love towards strangers and those that do not know Him.
posted by zhinger @ 12:36 pm
<< Home